Can’t Even

I have a ‘thing’ for to-do lists. I get a tangible, tactile, whole-body tingle of pleasure from crossing something off Google Keep. When packing I’ll write inane, obvious things like “backpack lol k” just so that I can get that little heady rush.


Did a thing.

Recently the thing that has been looming like a dark, shameful shadow over my Witcher 3 Never Ending Gwent Conquest has been actually getting my business up while here. It’s been on my to-do list since I left. I packed a precarious suitcase of beads, finished pieces, and paraphernalia and expected to take the country by storm. Instead, it has mostly sat idle while I make excuses as to why I can’t do markets here and questioning why I’m waiting on building the site. Fear of failure is high on that list, but isn’t a very good excuse. I have no reason to expect it to fail, especially based on past performance.

My current venture, White Stag Forge, was doing quite well in the states and I was absolutely loving doing pop up shows around town until I left. I’ve applied for my first international show here in November and should hear back on whether I made the cut Monday, but I have been really struggling with my web presence.

The site’s been on hiatus since I got to Oz for a myriad of reasons, including the fact that I don’t know how much shipping will be or the times/level of package loss I can expect from terrible Australia Post, waiting on more supplies to arrive, and getting up pictures I actually like. I buckled and bought another product photo box that folds down so I can take it home with me, but I don’t like the bland, sterile white look that it brings to my thumbnails. I’m much more into the marble ‘lifestyle’ type background the table gives, and would kill to have my Austin babes on hand to model some of these new pieces for me.



It’s hard to look at the site objectively since it’s mine, but I wouldn’t click on those links or pay the prices I’d like to charge. With new themes for the platform I use expected some time next year and my second business, Sonder, waiting in the hall, I’m stuck in analysis paralysis wondering if I should wait and revamp it a third time. But that seems crazy when it’s already been dark for almost four months. I should just roll out and hope for the best, but the perfectionist in me shudders at the thought.



Since I leave for NZ tomorrow, I was planning on not looking at it at all for the next ten days and then take a fresh gander on Monday. Hopefully that’ll show me that it isn’t so bad, or that it is and I need to go back to the drawing board. As of right now, after two weeks of slaving away and getting it up in a working mode, I can’t even look at it anymore.

Here’s the time I wish I had a popular blog of people to give me opinions, but that would require me to post more than once a month and that sounds like an obligation I cannot keep. 😉

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